For the man who has everything but a hard-on (and for the man who can’t help but get it up), it’s THE WOOD THAT LASTS FOREVER.
The ultimate erection supplement GUARANTEED.
Hey, Erectile Dysfunction crowd—
Are you or a loved one suffering from erectile dysfunction? There’s a good chance that you or a man you know is walking with more than one kind of limp.
According to the Cleveland Clinic, a 2018 study of erectile dysfunction
demonstrated that ED is increasingly prevalent with age: approximately 40% of men are affected at age 40 and nearly 70% of men are affected at age 70. The prevalence of complete ED increased from 5% at age 40 to 15% at age 70.
This must give us a hard or soft pause.
But take heart, because men with erectile dysfunction can now live vicariously through the erections of men throughout the ages.
Cue The Wood That Lasts Forever.
This delightful 400-page tome, by Don Thyk, MD, details with sickening and exhilarating clarity the history of erections.
“From the evolutionary slime pits to the plush Wall Street penthouse, erections have always been a fact of life,” writes Dr. Thyk.
With such titillating chapter titles as Eve’s Erection, It’s Easy Hard, Standing For Something, and Thick’s The Trick–and so many more–this work offers something for everyone.
A coffee table classic for generations of hard up conversationalists. Toss it into your next singles mixer and see what happens.
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The fact is, contrary to popular belief, a lot of men suffering from erectile dysfunction don’t like ED.
Many resort to irony. Bob, a 52-year-old victim of ED, explains, “It’s is a hard road.”
For all that, most men with ED are too embarrassed to talk about it, let alone make jokes.
Wood allows the flaccid reader to live vicariously through innumerable historical erections.
A true escape, helping the flagging male to forget his sagging member, even if only for a moment.
But it’s not just the cathartic aspect of Wood that makes it stand up and stand out like the erection supplement it is.
The book also has healing properties.
A 2022 study of 90 men suffering from erectile dysfunction prior to reading this book revealed that a cool 70% were able to get and maintain an erection naturally AFTER READING THIS BOOK.
“It’s a remarkable achievement, something never before accomplished in the field of erection science,” says penis researcher Dr. Brandy Brestweight. “This reality bulges before us and penetrates the deepest recesses of our intuition. It splits the pulsing gate that rises before us, crying, ‘Halt!’ But we are not so easily dissuaded.”
Enough about erectile dysfunction….
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Do you know what the Vatican’s been hiding?
Thyk’s work abounds with stunning revelations.
Consider the presence of erections in historical events.
“There’s a lot that can be said of a man who is willing to embrace his erection as a way of life,” writes Dr. Thyk. “What might surprise the reader is the discovery of just how many military, civic, and religious leaders throughout history have had an erection while achieving their greatest works. Mozart composed at least half of his works while sporting an erection. The apostle Peter and the reformer Martin Luther both preached with an erection almost all of the time. Alexander the Great, Socrates, Plato, all of these men brandished an erection at least 20 hours daily.”
You might be wondering why this extensive topic hasn’t come up before.
But believe us when we say that it’s always been there: you just haven’t been looking hard enough…or long enough….
“Nobody has really looked into [historical erections] before,” says Dr. Thyk.
Thyk scoured thousands of sources, which revealed a plethora of information about erections.
And he found that information in the most unlikely of places: it seems that the Vatican has been hiding a secret sub-library full of historical texts detailing the erections of history’s champions.
From the earliest records of the human race, down to modern times, this treasure trove of erection information bulges with insight.
“An entire underworld of erection documentation exists,” says Thyk. “The little known fact, now being brought to light, is that great men have generally written more about their penises than any other topic or achievement. This is a topic that’s on the rise.”
As Pope Francis said upon Dr. Thyk’s discovery of the trove, “It has been hard to hide this lo these many years.”
Most of the accounts come from hard firsthand reports from the penis-wielder himself, or someone who witnessed the erection.
Friends, lovers, fellow workers, and so many others bear witness to the erection and its power and prolificality in daily life.
Wood abounds with interesting historical facts.
- Did you know that our evolutionary ancestors, the neanderthals, chose tribal leaders based upon the length and duration of the erection of contestants?
- Did you know that the only battle Napoleon Bonaparte did not have an erection at was Waterloo?
- Did you know that ancient Mesopotamian men used to form pottery with their erections?
- Did you know that Ernest Hemingway wrote all of his novels while sporting an erection?
- Did you know that Jesus had an erection on the cross?
- Did you know that painters Raphael, Michelangelo, Caravaggio, and Bob Ross all wielded erections while creating their masterpieces?
- Did you know that Greek civilization collapsed when flaccid penises became fashionable?
Wood also offers much-need encouragement for men who are concerned that the bulge in their pants is too noticeable.
According to Thyk, “It’s a bulge of power, of opportunity, of achievement, of success. It’s a bulge that says that you’re a man going places, that you’re a man who will make his mark on history, a man who will penetrate the depths of his field.”
Many men feel that society prohibits them from expressing their masculinity.
The trend is toward being soft–which might explain why so many men develop ED as they get older: they’re tired of feeling guilty about their erections.
But Wood strokes a different skin.
It demonstrates that the erection is a normal part of masculinity, and that instead of reducing penile expression, it should be encouraged.
“After all,” writes Thyk, “it is the man with the almost perpetual erection who achieves the most lasting and satisfying fame.”
A man with an erection is an unstoppable force. He writhes and seethes with power. He is a force to be reckoned with. He rises from the ashes time and again to achieve what others poo-pooed as IMPOSSIBLE.
But the hard man knows nothing of IMPOSSIBILITY. For him, everything is possible.
He knows that the harder he stays, the more he slays–both in the bedroom and in his professional life.
He is not averse to hardship. No, he delights in the hardness.
He is bold and daring. He stands every day at every fork in the road and chooses THE HARD ROAD. No matter where that road plunges, what hills it mounts, what valleys it penetrates, no matter which direction it curves or bends, he is up for the challenge.
Minor inconveniences don’t stifle him.
He pumps ahead, pokes through the obstacles, and perpetuates his success.
Everywhere he goes he sows the seeds of victory. Sure, he’s a blow-hard: but that only makes him stronger.
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This manifestation too must give us pause.
And it’s no wonder that such a book can inspire men suffering from ED to get hard again.
Here’s What Other People Are Saying About The Wood That Lasts Forever
- “A delightful and delicious work that combines historical accounts with intriguing and practical insights into getting and staying hard.” – Cindy Lipinski, former porn star
- “And I thought my penis was interesting! I can’t believe my eyes.” – Shmuel Goldstein, rabbi
- “Glandular entertainment sure to stroke the ego of many a man.” – Lady Darvocet
- “It’s hard to get hard when you’re suffering from ED. This book illuminates the easy path to hard living.” – Dr. Brestweight
- “Hard to beat.” – Urology Biannual
Whether you’re hard or perpetually soft, you must read THE WOOD THAT LASTS FOREVER.
